Chuck vs a Depraved Sarah
by assasnin
Summary: One-shot: What if Sarah didn't let Chuck leave her so easily? AU to the 'Chuck leaves Sarah in Prague' scene in S3.


"Three years! Three fucking years Chuck!"

Chuck looked stunned. "Really? I mean, even I-"

"Three fucking years! I've felt like I'm a nun." Sarah reassessed whether that was indeed an accurate description of her feelings. Satisfied it was, she repeated, "a nun, Chuck!"

He couldn't help himself - he giggled. "Nunchucks...", he breathed.

This was not a time for giggles.

Sarah flipped into real rage. Returning to his previous comment, "and yes I KNOW you were out with SKANKY brunettes, while I",  
the most heavily accented 'I' that had ever been said,  
"was covering for YOU",  
Chuck retreated as Sarah started walking towards him,  
"so that YOU could be happy, so that YOU could have what you wanted, so that YOU",  
some would say Sarah took a slight pause there, but none of those people would be Chuck,  
"could have the girl of your dreams-"

"You're th-"

"No!" Sarah slammed her foot down, in a manner that could be described with more words that end in -ly than you would believe. "You do NOT get to interrupt me spilling ALL the bad feelings I've put in the grave for you Bartowski-" Chuck gulped. 'She called me Bartowski', he thought. 'This must be what an 8 on the Sarah scale looks like. I'm SO screwed!' "-these feelings are mother freaking zombies and they're getting a piece of your mind!" Trying not to think about the cute nerdy reference she'd just made, Chuck realised he was running out of space to back up, and if Sarah continued with her drive he was very confident that there was going to be a Chuck sized hole in the wall.

Needless to say, he was ready to agree.

"O-"

"No!" Sarah slammed her hand against the wall next to Chucks head just as he felt the not-firm-enough foundation push against his back. "I said NO interrupting Chuck. None!"

Chuck nodded meekly.

Satisfied, Sarah started pacing in front of Chuck. "Now, I understand that I wasn't perfect either, we all know how I acted when you-know-who-"  
Chuck opened his mouth.  
"-don't you DARE say Voldemort!"  
Chuck closed his mouth, deciding not to deny that that was his intention.

Unfortunately, Sarah felt she had a point to make.

Leaning in she whispered, "Or I will take this knife..." Chucks eyes widened and went cross as she moved the blade to tickle the tip of his nose. "…and I'll make you the best Voldemort to ever go to Comic-Con."

There was nothing Chuck could do.

He couldn't even breathe.

Looking back Chuck wouldn't know why he noticed it, but on the far wall across the train station, there was a clock.

The second hand begged off of 0.

"Now as far as I know, the Intersect doesn't need a nose to function." Sarah had never called Chuck the Intersect before. At least, not to his face. 'Maybe I'm up to a 9', Chuck thought. 'Dear God, how did this happen?!' "As a matter of fact..." Sarah lent back into Chuck, the sensation of her body pressed to his completely different to it's normal electrifying nature. She whispered softly, in what was normally a seductively seductive tone, "I don't think the Intersect needs any balls either."

Chuck shivered despite the 30 degree heat, lack of shade, jeans and cold body warmth emanating from the beautiful blonde. He both hoped and didn't hope that a passerby would try and tear Sarah away. After unsuccessfully trying to hold it in, a whimper escaped his lips. Or it would have escaped had Chuck been able to breathe in the last 10 seconds.

Sarah backed up just enough to be comfortable but still whispering in his ear. "I know I wasn't perfect but I made a lot of sacrifices for you Chuck. The very fact that I know what a Parsec is, is testament to that." Chuck nodded adamantly and not just because of the situation. When she'd listened and even FORCED herself to understand the whole parsec debate in Star Wars, he had been euphoric. He was learning now though, that those kinds of moments can sometimes be turned against you.

Especially when you haven't taken a breath for nearly 20 seconds and you had (accidentally!) put the best super secret agent in the WORLD into emotional turmoil.

Sarah however, only felt like she needed to make things clear. Crystal clear. "So when I say 'sex', or if I wink at you- if I even LOOK at you in any way seductively-no-if I even breathe in a manner which sounds like I need sexual attention, or if-"

Chuck wasn't listening anymore. It wasn't his fault and he hated blaming her - he was actually really interested in the conversation. But the sad fact was that Sarah's actions meant he hadn't breathed in 45 seconds and with all the previous emotional tension he was running very low on oxygen.

"-you see more than 2 inches of my legs, shaved OR not!, I expect-"

Although earlier Chuck PROBABLY hadn't phrased it properly, he had actually been making a request rather than a demand. He knew in the end he would give Sarah what she wanted if she tried to get him to stay, but he felt that she needed to know his side of things too.

'Now look where I am', he thought, while his vision darkened further, now covering the clock behind Sarah just as it was reaching zero.

"-I don't care if your sisters in the room, NOTHING stops Sazza Walker from ge-"

Now, the only thing he could see was her face. Chuck tried to bring his thoughts back to the current situation, 'there is the most beautiful blonde pinning me to a wall (not in a good way) whispering maddening things in my ear (also not in a good way) and leaving me absolutely breathless (that could be good under the right context.

This is not the right context).

Not to mention', he continued drily, 'that I'm about to meet Death.'

His vision darkened further so all he could see was Sarah's eyes. When he saw them narrow crossly at him, he had a terrifying last thought.

'Maybe I already have.'


End file.
